This time I will try to answer those questions coming. Please excuse me for asking, have a long wait to the point of asking the answer again. For this edition, the questions to be discussed is as follows ...
***
Pak Agus, tanya donk!
1. Right now I'm fresh out of school and I'm not confident if you want to work, because I feel my abilities are still questionable and many more powerful rivals of course. I myself doubt what I could not ... Well, this is how that feeling of doubt that can be lost instantly and not to rise again when we move from being a stumbling block and flash back that continues to be a scourge that continues to emerge?
2. And I asked her advice nich ...!
How sich so that we become people who talk smart and good at communicating with others? Because I'm famous person quiet, hard to get along / close to others, fear the same people, and according aja ... I do not want to be like this continue. Help me find a way out. I feel embarrassed when my friends the same story directly.
Please tips and input to help me out of this problem is always difficult to avoid and always comes up!
FH - Somewhere (Central Java)
***
Previously I would like to thank MBA F which has pleased the proposed problem. I understand your feelings. It first entered the working world is a new experience that may be quite stressful for some people. World of work is the real world that much different from the world of school, even far away. Sometimes what we learn in formal school-which spends most time and age we are taking is not necessarily completely. Therefore, we really need another stock. Moreover, you are not confident (Confident). You need to immediately change the mindset (think) you.
For the first question, the following steps that you can do:
Have a Positive Self Concept
From the first question, you disclose that you are unsure of yourself, you are skeptical about the ability you have, you are afraid of something outside yourself that it's not necessarily true. It shows you have a negative self-concept (not good).
Self-concept according to Adi W. Gunawan and Ariesandi Setyono in his book, Manage Your Mind for Success-is the perception (the view) a person against himself, which is formed through experience and interaction with the environment, and the influence of the people considered important.
While you are looking at yourself do not have sufficient capability and will to compete; it is your own perception of yourself. So, a kind of defeat before the match due to non-PD-an alias minder. To that end, the first thing you should do is break the misconceptions about yourself by having a positive self-concept. Now, then change your beliefs about yourself into the opposite. Because the truth is that it is the inability to create yourself. It is our minds that created that we are completely limited, shortages and could not compete with others in the world of work. By changing these perceptions into the opposite; be: we can do this, we are unique and have advantages, we are God's creatures are special because no other human being the exact same one with ourselves, it will also change and improve confidence us. So, there is no reason to doubt the ability of self before plunging into the world of work. I believe no one is perfect in this world, but that does not mean you should be fettered by such erroneous perceptions. Immediately change your self-concept, have a positive self-concept because you are not a human being! You are a great candidate!
Now you do not see many competitors are there or look at unemployment in the country is still high, but look at the opportunities that exist in front of the eye that may be your fortune. Do not see a competitor that education and experience far above you, but look at opportunities that may become yours if you feel confident and optimistic that you want to achieve.
Now yell to yourself, "I definitely bisaaaaaaa!" To all doubt that poisons your mind immediately vanished. One more thing, if you do not trust yourself then who the (others) who will trust you?
Have a Solid Reason
To strengthen your mental in stepping into the world of work, you must also have a strong and solid reasons why you should work. Perhaps that reason could be found to commemorate the struggle and hard work of parents in educating you. Of course the costs and sacrifices they are very large so you may well educated and has a diploma as it is now. Or are there other reasons, so the feeling of doubt you could disappear in the blink of an eye.
Perhaps the reason why we should not be afraid to dive into the world of work are as follows:
1. Want to be a dutiful son and reply to the parent services
2. Want to practice the science that has been obtained from the school
3. Want to be able to give to others from his own sweat
4. Abstinence life becomes the burden of parents continue to
5. Want to become independent early
You can find other reasons that can make you immediately change your mindset and self-concept of self-confidence that had not become a full-confident. If you have strong self-confidence, surely you will become more impersonal.
Realizing that the Work is Worship
Worship is not just a spiritual activity such as in Islam includes, among others, prayer, fasting, zakat, hajj, dhikr, charity, and others. Work is also worship as long as we intend what we do is to expect the pleasure of Allah SWT. If we have understood the matter, feeling hesitant and insecure it will soon run away from ourselves. By working, but we get a halal income, it is well worth the worship if we put the right intention. That way, our spirit to work (or get a job for the new graduate school / unemployed) will double. Finally, there is no doubt the word, not confident, scared, and so forth in the dictionary of our lives.
***
For the second question, in fact everyone was well-spoken, even a dumb person. I have a neighbor who by God's will he was mute, but he was also eloquent. Maybe the sound coming out of my mouth are not able to understand, but he uses sign language that can make me understand what he say. He was good at the art, both painting, makeup, and other designs. He is indifferent to play chess and be one tough opponent for me.
See, the mute articulate and communicate, we are given a period of perfection can speak verbally was afraid to speak out and express his opinion. Can a pacemaker, imagine if you were born dumb, what things you want most in life? Of course they can speak it? Well, if you feel afraid to speak, just imagine it.
I know maybe you mean talking about here is "speaking in public (the people)". Indeed, this one takes skill, practice and courage. Just like when expressed love to someone we love, and fear may be difficult to ask for forgiveness. Just to say "I love you", we have a cold sweat plus more fear (fear of rejection, hehehe ...). Or when I have to say "Watashi wa aishiteru ..." to a pretty girl then I also have to think two or four times, because there are two possibilities: he would be smiling, happy, or actually even took his shoes and thrown directly at me. So, equally frightening, although in a different context.
To that end, here I will try to provide tips that may help you out of it.
Enable Self in Organizations
Look for an organization or the like (in a positive and useful of course) that could become an arena for you to train yourself in socializing with other humans. And when in meetings or discussion forums, you try to speak up if only to ask questions, or express your opinions-though initially what you convey inferior or look stupid.
Kemukakanlah your opinion in which many pairs of eyes are watching you. Hides fear of making mistakes, because of an error-kesalahanlah you can learn. Let's just say you are the center of attention and full of charm. With many hours of flying, it will all make you get used to, smart talk, even in front of the crowd.
With our association will also meet with various people with the nature, character, and thoughts of each. You will be prosecuted to communicate with them so that the nature of your silent too long will also disappear.
I used too quiet and shy person (hopefully not embarrassing, hehehe ...), but I always turn on themselves in several organizations at once-even since I was in junior high school (when the class president). Because most of the roles and responsibilities diamanahi to me quite prominent, and finally I was inevitably have to speak in front of people, communicate with them, and understand each individual.
If necessary, dudukilah helm, because it would train a lot of things like public speaking, communication and negotiation skills, HR management, team work, leadership as well. In addition, because you become a decision maker, then it will also train yourself to wisdom or wisdom. If it is so, you are guaranteed not to be afraid of other people (as long as you correctly) and become an obedient only. Even you can also become an "agent of change".
Look for Demanding Work You Much Talk
The best way to eliminate fear is to do the things you fear, so says the sage. If you are afraid to compete, then immediately plunge into the battlefield! [As per the topic, the battlefield is the world of work]. Fight it out even if you have to lose before you win. If you are afraid of other people, then let's face it! If it turns out your fears to kill you, you just may be afraid. Fear of speaking in front of a crowd, then talk while you are not destined silent and wrapped in a shroud. Or like when you are scared of water then ceburkan yourself into a river or pond, surely that fear is an illusion.
To that end, if you want to have the ability to speak and communicate better, you can also train it by selecting the job that requires you to talk a lot and met many people who various characters. You can be a teacher or lecturer (now to become a certified teacher must be at least S2), customer service, public relations, sales, or sales (salesperson).
I also have tried almost everything, and it turns the toughest for me personally is to become sales (salesperson), because my soul is the soul of a "teacher". In addition to a profession that is often overlooked a lot of people, to sell a product, without speech / communication and negotiation that are reliable, it is very difficult, in addition to the burden of targets to be met. But it turns out that one profession is a profession full of challenges and into the fields of learning are very good to train to talk and learn the business world. Robert T. Kiyosaki, author of international bestsellers, willing to get out of his job is safe and well-paid to a sales order to learn something that is finally realizing his dream-reaching financial freedom. People who survive a street sales in a long time and was a formidable achievement. If he has a goal of intelligent, he is likely to succeed.
When I was serving learning into sales and so I bought a book titled "Sales Dog". In all areas there is a separate science. There is nothing wrong we learn to broaden their horizons. It turned out that the sales are also derived from a variety of educational backgrounds. Mesikipun most qualified high school (or equivalent), there is also the title of Bachelor of Chemistry, Graduate of Islamic Law, and others. Some of those who have strong religious background until now remained a friend of mine. If only thought Robert T. Kiyosaki can not I receive, I probably would not dare try this one profession. But the risks, insights and knowledge I would still like a frog in a shell.
If you seriously want to articulate and communicate, you can try things on. Maybe at first you will feel very uncomfortable, work under pressure, and day-to-day challenges, but if you have a good reason and desire to learn is high then it will be your pass. Always remember the goal is you want to achieve! We must dare to make sacrifices if you want to get something worthwhile. My friend said, "Nothing is free".
I actually also had a funny experience when me and my friends are running, but I will not tell here because the message being conveyed is all about changing the quiet nature of a jaunty or communicate. You really can change it if, and only if, you want to change. Actually easy, but depending your seriousness to be "able".
Become a Public Speaker
This is the most extreme suggestions that I can point out, although I have not reached fully. Just to share experiences, my formerly quiet also turned out to be changed, so that when I lead an organization, I could be the most audible speech although many people of an age considerably older than me. And now when discussing with my friends, if the wise words and tone I get out I was serious, I could make another stare that sometimes there are up to tears. If you asked my school friends, especially when the SMP, they will surely say that my first child was quiet.
Why change?
Yes, because I learned to change. And apparently in search of myself, I idolized a public speaker that his speaking ability is very intriguing to an international magazine ever load profile with the title "Man Holly - Indonesia's Hottest Muslims". It also influences a person to idolize. So, if you really want to be articulate and communicate, prescription "has the idol" terdahsyat people who have these skills may also be used. Sich extreme you make goals all "Being a Public Speaker (Public Speaker)".
There is my wonderful friend. He is an MBA Eni Kusuma, author of bestselling book "Extraordinary You !!!". He used to be shy and even suffer from stuttering to speak, but thanks to hard he will now become a National Public Speaker, when the background is a migrant worker from Hong Kong with a childhood full of concern. Amazingly, he now is one of the columnists in www.pembelajar.com. Is not amazing!
Now compare with yourself, with your family background and education. What was lacking? You should be more extraordinary, is not it?
There is a memorable story about the MBA Eni. One day when I'm busy working, I suddenly got a call MBA Eni to watch a TV show featuring the figure of a few moments longer he will be served. Know the show "Beautiful Ballad of Life"? I was then rushed to find existing space television. It is so, do not know the remote control is placed where. After the meet and turn on the TV, it turns out ... that looks poor again just the image of ants ... aka TV station in question can not direlai of our city. Mba Eni did not know, I do not dare to say, hehehe ... J
***
Thus the answer that I can say. If not satisfactory, you can ask again to the real experts. Or for readers who want to add, please write down your thoughts on the comments provided. I knew the answer the question above is still incomplete and could be further developed.
Plus for those who read (especially girls), which may be remembered not only "Watashi wa aishiteru ...", hehehe. :-)
***
In closing this article, let us consider the word of Allah in the Qur'an letter Ar Ra'd verse 11 which means, "... Allah does not change the state of things so they change the circumstances that exist in themselves ..."
Hopefully helpful! [AR]
***
Pak Agus, tanya donk!
1. Right now I'm fresh out of school and I'm not confident if you want to work, because I feel my abilities are still questionable and many more powerful rivals of course. I myself doubt what I could not ... Well, this is how that feeling of doubt that can be lost instantly and not to rise again when we move from being a stumbling block and flash back that continues to be a scourge that continues to emerge?
2. And I asked her advice nich ...!
How sich so that we become people who talk smart and good at communicating with others? Because I'm famous person quiet, hard to get along / close to others, fear the same people, and according aja ... I do not want to be like this continue. Help me find a way out. I feel embarrassed when my friends the same story directly.
Please tips and input to help me out of this problem is always difficult to avoid and always comes up!
FH - Somewhere (Central Java)
***
Previously I would like to thank MBA F which has pleased the proposed problem. I understand your feelings. It first entered the working world is a new experience that may be quite stressful for some people. World of work is the real world that much different from the world of school, even far away. Sometimes what we learn in formal school-which spends most time and age we are taking is not necessarily completely. Therefore, we really need another stock. Moreover, you are not confident (Confident). You need to immediately change the mindset (think) you.
For the first question, the following steps that you can do:
Have a Positive Self Concept
From the first question, you disclose that you are unsure of yourself, you are skeptical about the ability you have, you are afraid of something outside yourself that it's not necessarily true. It shows you have a negative self-concept (not good).
Self-concept according to Adi W. Gunawan and Ariesandi Setyono in his book, Manage Your Mind for Success-is the perception (the view) a person against himself, which is formed through experience and interaction with the environment, and the influence of the people considered important.
While you are looking at yourself do not have sufficient capability and will to compete; it is your own perception of yourself. So, a kind of defeat before the match due to non-PD-an alias minder. To that end, the first thing you should do is break the misconceptions about yourself by having a positive self-concept. Now, then change your beliefs about yourself into the opposite. Because the truth is that it is the inability to create yourself. It is our minds that created that we are completely limited, shortages and could not compete with others in the world of work. By changing these perceptions into the opposite; be: we can do this, we are unique and have advantages, we are God's creatures are special because no other human being the exact same one with ourselves, it will also change and improve confidence us. So, there is no reason to doubt the ability of self before plunging into the world of work. I believe no one is perfect in this world, but that does not mean you should be fettered by such erroneous perceptions. Immediately change your self-concept, have a positive self-concept because you are not a human being! You are a great candidate!
Now you do not see many competitors are there or look at unemployment in the country is still high, but look at the opportunities that exist in front of the eye that may be your fortune. Do not see a competitor that education and experience far above you, but look at opportunities that may become yours if you feel confident and optimistic that you want to achieve.
Now yell to yourself, "I definitely bisaaaaaaa!" To all doubt that poisons your mind immediately vanished. One more thing, if you do not trust yourself then who the (others) who will trust you?
Have a Solid Reason
To strengthen your mental in stepping into the world of work, you must also have a strong and solid reasons why you should work. Perhaps that reason could be found to commemorate the struggle and hard work of parents in educating you. Of course the costs and sacrifices they are very large so you may well educated and has a diploma as it is now. Or are there other reasons, so the feeling of doubt you could disappear in the blink of an eye.
Perhaps the reason why we should not be afraid to dive into the world of work are as follows:
1. Want to be a dutiful son and reply to the parent services
2. Want to practice the science that has been obtained from the school
3. Want to be able to give to others from his own sweat
4. Abstinence life becomes the burden of parents continue to
5. Want to become independent early
You can find other reasons that can make you immediately change your mindset and self-concept of self-confidence that had not become a full-confident. If you have strong self-confidence, surely you will become more impersonal.
Realizing that the Work is Worship
Worship is not just a spiritual activity such as in Islam includes, among others, prayer, fasting, zakat, hajj, dhikr, charity, and others. Work is also worship as long as we intend what we do is to expect the pleasure of Allah SWT. If we have understood the matter, feeling hesitant and insecure it will soon run away from ourselves. By working, but we get a halal income, it is well worth the worship if we put the right intention. That way, our spirit to work (or get a job for the new graduate school / unemployed) will double. Finally, there is no doubt the word, not confident, scared, and so forth in the dictionary of our lives.
***
For the second question, in fact everyone was well-spoken, even a dumb person. I have a neighbor who by God's will he was mute, but he was also eloquent. Maybe the sound coming out of my mouth are not able to understand, but he uses sign language that can make me understand what he say. He was good at the art, both painting, makeup, and other designs. He is indifferent to play chess and be one tough opponent for me.
See, the mute articulate and communicate, we are given a period of perfection can speak verbally was afraid to speak out and express his opinion. Can a pacemaker, imagine if you were born dumb, what things you want most in life? Of course they can speak it? Well, if you feel afraid to speak, just imagine it.
I know maybe you mean talking about here is "speaking in public (the people)". Indeed, this one takes skill, practice and courage. Just like when expressed love to someone we love, and fear may be difficult to ask for forgiveness. Just to say "I love you", we have a cold sweat plus more fear (fear of rejection, hehehe ...). Or when I have to say "Watashi wa aishiteru ..." to a pretty girl then I also have to think two or four times, because there are two possibilities: he would be smiling, happy, or actually even took his shoes and thrown directly at me. So, equally frightening, although in a different context.
To that end, here I will try to provide tips that may help you out of it.
Enable Self in Organizations
Look for an organization or the like (in a positive and useful of course) that could become an arena for you to train yourself in socializing with other humans. And when in meetings or discussion forums, you try to speak up if only to ask questions, or express your opinions-though initially what you convey inferior or look stupid.
Kemukakanlah your opinion in which many pairs of eyes are watching you. Hides fear of making mistakes, because of an error-kesalahanlah you can learn. Let's just say you are the center of attention and full of charm. With many hours of flying, it will all make you get used to, smart talk, even in front of the crowd.
With our association will also meet with various people with the nature, character, and thoughts of each. You will be prosecuted to communicate with them so that the nature of your silent too long will also disappear.
I used too quiet and shy person (hopefully not embarrassing, hehehe ...), but I always turn on themselves in several organizations at once-even since I was in junior high school (when the class president). Because most of the roles and responsibilities diamanahi to me quite prominent, and finally I was inevitably have to speak in front of people, communicate with them, and understand each individual.
If necessary, dudukilah helm, because it would train a lot of things like public speaking, communication and negotiation skills, HR management, team work, leadership as well. In addition, because you become a decision maker, then it will also train yourself to wisdom or wisdom. If it is so, you are guaranteed not to be afraid of other people (as long as you correctly) and become an obedient only. Even you can also become an "agent of change".
Look for Demanding Work You Much Talk
The best way to eliminate fear is to do the things you fear, so says the sage. If you are afraid to compete, then immediately plunge into the battlefield! [As per the topic, the battlefield is the world of work]. Fight it out even if you have to lose before you win. If you are afraid of other people, then let's face it! If it turns out your fears to kill you, you just may be afraid. Fear of speaking in front of a crowd, then talk while you are not destined silent and wrapped in a shroud. Or like when you are scared of water then ceburkan yourself into a river or pond, surely that fear is an illusion.
To that end, if you want to have the ability to speak and communicate better, you can also train it by selecting the job that requires you to talk a lot and met many people who various characters. You can be a teacher or lecturer (now to become a certified teacher must be at least S2), customer service, public relations, sales, or sales (salesperson).
I also have tried almost everything, and it turns the toughest for me personally is to become sales (salesperson), because my soul is the soul of a "teacher". In addition to a profession that is often overlooked a lot of people, to sell a product, without speech / communication and negotiation that are reliable, it is very difficult, in addition to the burden of targets to be met. But it turns out that one profession is a profession full of challenges and into the fields of learning are very good to train to talk and learn the business world. Robert T. Kiyosaki, author of international bestsellers, willing to get out of his job is safe and well-paid to a sales order to learn something that is finally realizing his dream-reaching financial freedom. People who survive a street sales in a long time and was a formidable achievement. If he has a goal of intelligent, he is likely to succeed.
When I was serving learning into sales and so I bought a book titled "Sales Dog". In all areas there is a separate science. There is nothing wrong we learn to broaden their horizons. It turned out that the sales are also derived from a variety of educational backgrounds. Mesikipun most qualified high school (or equivalent), there is also the title of Bachelor of Chemistry, Graduate of Islamic Law, and others. Some of those who have strong religious background until now remained a friend of mine. If only thought Robert T. Kiyosaki can not I receive, I probably would not dare try this one profession. But the risks, insights and knowledge I would still like a frog in a shell.
If you seriously want to articulate and communicate, you can try things on. Maybe at first you will feel very uncomfortable, work under pressure, and day-to-day challenges, but if you have a good reason and desire to learn is high then it will be your pass. Always remember the goal is you want to achieve! We must dare to make sacrifices if you want to get something worthwhile. My friend said, "Nothing is free".
I actually also had a funny experience when me and my friends are running, but I will not tell here because the message being conveyed is all about changing the quiet nature of a jaunty or communicate. You really can change it if, and only if, you want to change. Actually easy, but depending your seriousness to be "able".
Become a Public Speaker
This is the most extreme suggestions that I can point out, although I have not reached fully. Just to share experiences, my formerly quiet also turned out to be changed, so that when I lead an organization, I could be the most audible speech although many people of an age considerably older than me. And now when discussing with my friends, if the wise words and tone I get out I was serious, I could make another stare that sometimes there are up to tears. If you asked my school friends, especially when the SMP, they will surely say that my first child was quiet.
Why change?
Yes, because I learned to change. And apparently in search of myself, I idolized a public speaker that his speaking ability is very intriguing to an international magazine ever load profile with the title "Man Holly - Indonesia's Hottest Muslims". It also influences a person to idolize. So, if you really want to be articulate and communicate, prescription "has the idol" terdahsyat people who have these skills may also be used. Sich extreme you make goals all "Being a Public Speaker (Public Speaker)".
There is my wonderful friend. He is an MBA Eni Kusuma, author of bestselling book "Extraordinary You !!!". He used to be shy and even suffer from stuttering to speak, but thanks to hard he will now become a National Public Speaker, when the background is a migrant worker from Hong Kong with a childhood full of concern. Amazingly, he now is one of the columnists in www.pembelajar.com. Is not amazing!
Now compare with yourself, with your family background and education. What was lacking? You should be more extraordinary, is not it?
There is a memorable story about the MBA Eni. One day when I'm busy working, I suddenly got a call MBA Eni to watch a TV show featuring the figure of a few moments longer he will be served. Know the show "Beautiful Ballad of Life"? I was then rushed to find existing space television. It is so, do not know the remote control is placed where. After the meet and turn on the TV, it turns out ... that looks poor again just the image of ants ... aka TV station in question can not direlai of our city. Mba Eni did not know, I do not dare to say, hehehe ... J
***
Thus the answer that I can say. If not satisfactory, you can ask again to the real experts. Or for readers who want to add, please write down your thoughts on the comments provided. I knew the answer the question above is still incomplete and could be further developed.
Plus for those who read (especially girls), which may be remembered not only "Watashi wa aishiteru ...", hehehe. :-)
***
In closing this article, let us consider the word of Allah in the Qur'an letter Ar Ra'd verse 11 which means, "... Allah does not change the state of things so they change the circumstances that exist in themselves ..."
Hopefully helpful! [AR]
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